What’s New to Stream on Hulu for September 2023

Crossing the Streams is our series of guides looking at all the offerings hitting the big streaming services each month. This time we’re checking out what’s new to streaming on Hulu in September 2023, including Evil Dead, The Accountant, a mixed bag of horror remakes, and more!

Hulu Pick of the Month for September 2023

This year saw a continuation of the Evil Dead franchise with the wonderfully gory and pretty good overall Evil Dead Rises, and while everyone has their favorite in the long-running film series the only right answer remains Evil Dead (2013). Sam Raimi’s films are varying degrees of fun, and the new one scratches an itch for bloody fx, but only Fede Alvarez delivers the emotionally raw goods with his take on the property. Credit goes all around, but it’s Jane Levy who stands tall (and covered in blood) as the film’s MVP as we give a damn about her descent into demonic shenanigans and feel her pain. The brutally gory practical effects, the copious amounts of blood, and the incredibly grim tone all add to the horrifying “fun.”

Remakes Galore!

John Moore’s The Omen (2006) can’t touch a devilish hair on the head of Richard Donner’s 1976 original, but there’s still some fun to be had as the son of satan comes home to America with diplomatic immunity. Liev Schreiber, Julia Stiles, David Thewlis, Mia Farrow, and Michael Gambon lend their talents, and they all do solid work in what amounts to a mildly classy B-movie. Moore never tries to craft something fresh or show off his own voice, though, and that’s arguably the biggest problem. Any filmmaker tackling a remake should aim to make it their own, but Moore and friends seem content delivering something that never aims higher than mere competence.

While John Milius’ 1982 original made a star out of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the same can’t quite be said for Marcus Nispel’s Conan the Barbarian (2011). Sure, Jason Momoa went on to become a big name, but this box-office bomb played no role there. I’m pro-Nispel in general as his remake/reboots for both the Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchises are among the best either film series has to offer, but this one doesn’t quite find the same energy. That said, there’s still some good old fashioned hack and slash, sword and sandal entertainment to be had here as the R-rating is earned through some bloody battles. Add in Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols, Ron Perlman, and Rose McGowan, and it becomes two hours you won’t regret (or remember a week or two later).

Neither of the remakes above improve on their predecessors, but both still manage to avoid embarrassing themselves. The same can’t quite be said for Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (2011), a remake of 1972’s still creepy as hell made-for-television movie of the same name. It’s almost impressive how badly they mess up the simple premise and beautifully executed chills of the original. Not even my enjoyment of Katie Holmes and Guy Pearce can make this work all that well as both fall victim to writing and direction that fails to find the scary in the unknown. It’s not a terrible film, producer Guillermo del Toro wouldn’t let that happen, but it’s far from memorable.

Action Worth Rewatching!

While we inexplicably still wait for a Blu-ray of James Cameron’s The Abyss, we can’t forget that we’re also still without an HD disc of his still-terrific action flick, True Lies (1994). Arnold Schwarzenegger headlines as a spy masquerading as a married businessman, but when his wife (a fantastic Jamie Lee Curtis) is roped into his dangerous world the shit really hits the fan. Terrorists threaten mass carnage, a shady used car salesman makes moves on a married woman, and a teenaged daughter takes flight. Bill Paxton and Tom Arnold add some fun, action beats involving bathroom brawls and a horse chase raise the pulse, and Curtis’ sexy striptease remains magical. Young ones watching it for the first time will cry foul about its dated attitudes, but ignore them and settle in for an action gem from a master.

Speaking of masters delivering masterpieces, George Miller’s Mad Max: Fury Road (2015, premieres September 9th) is still a cinematic miracle that continues to impress and awe no matter how many times you watch it. Charlize Theron and Tom Hardy headline with an action extravaganza, a feature-length chase scene overflowing with epic stunts, grand visuals, and endless wonder. There’s nothing new to be said about it really, but that’s how you watch the movie too — in a combination of silence and guttural outbursts celebrating the pure brilliance and awesome execution of every sequence and set-piece. Play it loud.

While the two films above were both monster hits and are still discussed on the regular, Gavin O’Connor’s The Accountant (2016, premieres September 28th) was a solid hit that not a damn soul has even thought about in seven years. That’s a shame as the movie rocks. To be clear, it’s silly as hell even as it’s dead serious, and lead Ben Affleck is the perfect performer to bring that combination to the screen. He plays a math savant, book cooker, and assassin, and his story is a wonderfully entertaining one. J.K. Simmons, Jon Bernthal, Jeffrey Tambor, John Lithgow, Jean Smart, and Anna Kendrick co-star, and the film doesn’t skimp on the fun action beats and plot turns. Give it a spin, and join me in demanding a sequel!

The Complete Hulu List for September 2023

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