Every Episode Of ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ Ranked
After seven seasons it’s still one of the funniest, sweetest shows on television.
10. HalloVeen
Season 5, Episode 4
Let’s hear it for The Tramps (Terry, Rosa, and Boyle) who, after watching Jake and Holt compete for the title of “Amazing Human/Genius” and the Title Cumberbund over the last four years decide they want in on the action. But unlike the other Halloween episodes, ‘Halloveen’ hooks us with that goopy sweetness that big ol’ softies like yours truly just can’t help but love. As Amy finds herself drunk with victory, she peers down at the cumberbund as Jake slowly goes to one knee. “Is this real?” she asks? “Yes,” Jake responds, an engagement ring held in front of him. Of course, this surprise just means that the no one won the competition (which Holt continues to remind the squad), leaving the door open for a battle royale come next year. And if Halloween 6 is anything like it’s Michael Myers counterpart, then I think the underdogs have a great chance at victory. Additionally, Holt has two all-time favorite lines in this episode. The first is Holts casual usage of the phrase “pity the child” in what I hope is a tribute to the great 80s Cold War ABBA musical Chess. The second is when he approaches a dog that he realizes is not his own: “You’re not Cheddar! You’re just some common bitch!”
9. Pontiac Bandit
Season 1, Episode 12
If there was ever a more popular fan favorite character outside of the squad, there is no doubt that it is Doug Judy. Craig Robinson’s Pontiac Bandit plays so beautifully off of Andy Samberg that while they are clearly meant to evoke the tumultuous relationship between Al Pacino and Robert De Niro in Michael Mann’s “Heat”, they feel more like the natural progression of Disney’s Robin Hood and Little John. While they have one adventure every season together, I don’t think any come off as better than the OG introduction. This is Judy and Jake before he realizes that he’s been played, so there is a really wonderful connection that you get to witness as they bond over their favorite old movies on Laserdisc, namely An American Tail: Fievel Goes West. Papa? Fievel? PAPA! FIEVEL!
8. Pimemento
Season 7, Episode 3
Alright, let’s break this down. Combine Pimento, Jason Mantzoukas’ wildcard undercover cop, with Christopher Nolan’s second feature Memento and you get? PIMEMENTO! Is this my favorite episode of Season Seven? Yes, and not just because Memento is still one of my favorite Nolan films. This episode marries a lot of what we love about the show – great recurring characters, inspired guest stars, deep cut movie references – into a half hour of classic, action-oriented Nine-Nine with sharp writing and subplots that don’t feel wedged in or pedestrian. As long as we keep getting episodes like Pimemento, there’s no end in sight for Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
7. Beach House
Season 2, Episode 12
What I love so much about ‘Beach House’ isn’t the awkwardness of Holt’s presence or the lengths that Jake will go through to have his cake and eat it too. It’s not even Five Drink Amy or Weekend Terry, the bubbleless jacuzzi, or freezing cold walks on the beach. No, what I love about this episode is it’s one of the best moments where we see stoic, flutist loving Captain Raymond Holt meet his squad on their level. After recognizing his own position in the structure of power, Jake persuades him to join the party, but cut loose into the silly drunken fun they had planned. They play a guessing game on Captain Holt, with Raymond responding to one choice quote “Any smile that lasts longer than a second and a half is a conman’s ruse.” Holt holds his beer to his chest, stone-faced as usual, “I said it. AND I MEANT IT!” he bellows. Trust me, if you love these characters, it’s heartwarming AF.
6. The Fugitive
Season 4, Episode 11 and 12
Here is the two-part episode that, while split into two individual 22 minutes, I’m considering one full story. And this is one where all the plot lines hit their marks. From Boyle’s bad texting habits to the citywide manhunt for a group of escaped prisoners in downtown Brooklyn, to Jake’s positive masculine growth of letting go of his apartment that all make these episodes absolute standouts. I love seeing Jake concede to moving in with Amy, not as a defeat. He’s not being forced to give up his apartment, he wants to. It seems so minor, this admittance of positive concession, but it’s such an important teachable moment for young boys (and really anyone). Brooklyn Nine-Nine proves once again that these are the cops we need to see on TV.
5. Bad Beat
Season 5, Episode 5
As someone who has faced and survived addiction, Holt’s struggles with gambling ring true to me. While thankfully that wasn’t my problem, the language the show uses is very recovery-positive which is wonderfully refreshing, as addiction representation has never been extremely nuanced, especially for people in recovery. But most importantly Holt graciously asks for help and admits to his problem, and Jake and Terry are there to non-judgmentally support them. And for someone dealing with addiction recovery: that’s all we need. What I find even more intriguing is how this episode was foreshadowed in the “Mr. Santiago” episode of season 4 with Holt throwing himself into gambling Pimento’s money on the Westminster Dog Show. It’s intentionally layered writing that just emphasizes how unique Brooklyn Nine-Nine truly is.
4. Moo Moo
Season 4, Episode 16
Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s way of facing issues in policing generally air on the side of politely addressing a problem, but typically not going into it further than the surface. The conversations around law enforcement have increasingly grown since Brooklyn Nine-Nine began airing, I think it’s brave that the show does talk about these shortcomings, while not losing sight of its comedy. Which is why I believe “Moo Moo” is such a powerful moment for Brooklyn Nine-Nine as a series. It centers on Terry being profiled by a racist police officer while he is looking for one of his daughter’s beloved stuffed animals, the titular Moo Moo. He feels belittled, angry, and hurt especially after Holt refuses to pass on his official complaint towards the cop. This results in a powerful monologue of Terry expressing his feelings in a sobering way to the Captain, which inspires him to change his mind. Much like in “Full Boyle”, Holt recognizes that he blazed the trails he did so that Sergeants like Terry can for once feel supported to fight an oppressive system. Much like how I would love to install a Gina Linetti in every police precinct across the nation, I think each one would benefit mightily with a Captain like Raymond Holt and a Sergeant like Terrence Jeffords.
3. Jake And Amy
Season 5, Episode 22
Look. As we’ve gotten to know each other, author to reader, over the course of this comprehensive and exhaustive list, you know I’m getting married soon. So you could probably guess that I have a softer spot in my heart right now for a damn good wedding episode of quality sitcom television. And Jake & Amy (Look it! The season finale title! I TOLD YOU!) is far and away one of the best you’ll find. Not just because of the hijinks that sideline all of their plans, but because of the actual ceremony. We’ve spent five long seasons watching this couple clearly heading down this path, and they let them (and us) really feel their love. Of course, in the only way that Brooklyn Nine-Nine can:
“Life is unpredictable, not everything is in our control, but as long as you’re with the right people you can handle anything. And you Jake Peralta, are the right person for me. But I do have some bad news. There is a bomb at this wedding as well.” A wave of confusion washes over Jake. “Your butt. Your butt is the bomb. There will be no survivors.” Jake’s eyes well with tears, his voice now cracking with emotion. “I love you so much, you’re my dream girl.”
I keep promising myself I’m not gonna cry, but you know me reader: that’s a damn lie.
2. Show Me Going
Season 5, Episode 20
While the episode begins normally, it immediately is stopped in its tracks by an active shooter situation that Rosa is caught in. This sobering turn mimics the same jarring feeling when we hear of any mass shooting that the United States has now normalized. And the way Brooklyn Nine-Nine approaches it is quietly remarkable. We’ve seen cop shows where police have to deal with the mental effects of the job ala Jimmy McNulty’s excessive drinking in The Wire, here Brooklyn Nine-Nine humanizes the squad in a way that we need right now. That fear isn’t a weakness and that strength can come in words and togetherness, rather than embracing fearfully angry masculinity that can do more damage than good. I hope that young kids, especially boys, see how Jake learns and reacts to situations like this. I may sound like a broken record, but we need more nuanced portrayals of men like this.
1. Yippie Kayak
Season 3, Episode 10
Let me be frank: it was very hard to choose a “best episode”. From the teachable moments of Brooklyn Nine-Nine to its acerbic humor, the show is never not funny. But if there ever was an episode that was exemplary of everything that Brooklyn Nine-Nine does well, then it’s ‘Yippie Kayak’. Always at its best around the holidays, this Christmas episode finds Jake, Charles, and Gina experiencing a real-life Die Hard when their last minute shopping gets hijacked by robbers. It’s riddled with references directly lifted from its source material while continuing to still punctuate the narrative with moments of personal growth from our core characters. Jake, in a dire moment, relinquishes his John McClane moment to selflessly protect his partner and best friend. The gamble works in their favor though, as Boyle comes crashing through the ventilation shafts in a white tank top and a glorious grin, “Yippie kayak other buckets!” he shouts, an obvious reference to the most quotable moment from Die Hard. “Boyle! You did it! And you completely botched the catchphrase.” Charles shakes his head at Jake, “Pretty sure I was right.” Jake smiles “Naaah, but you did great!” You always do Joe Lo Truglio, you always do.
