Every Episode Of ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ Ranked

110. The Chopper
Season 2, Episode 22

Kyra Sedgwick is Machiavellian as fuuuuuck as Chief Wuntch, the thorn in Captain Holts side. Here she seems to buck her M.O. by offering much-needed support to Jake and Boyle in the form of a helicopter to bust a bank robbery. But their success is all to make Captain Holt look good…just so she can successfully transfer him out of the Nine-Nine to desk duty. It’s a super damn sneaky twist of events setting up Holts listlessness at the top of season 3 and throwing the squad into distress. But what can we all agree on by episodes end? That OF COURSE school age kids would love crime scene photos. I mean, wouldn’t’ve you?

109. Maximum Security
Season 3, Episode 21

Eyyyy Aida Tuturro! Maybe it was her stint on The Sopranos, but there’s something about playing a tough as nails prisoner that just suits her. While the episode has highs, like Jake being self-aware enough to realize he should not be lead on the case because his judgment is skewed as Amy goes undercover, the episode is clearly a transition through multiple plot lines to begin to tie together Jimmy ‘The Butcher’ Figgis, The FBI mole, and the squad. So while it may not rank that high, it is a wonderful example of how progressive the storytelling has come in prime-time comedy. That now even our Must-See TV sitcoms have complex overarching stories that last the season, something that I think co-creator Michael Schur has mastered in his series The Good Place.

108. 48 Hours
Season 1, Episode 7

Hey there rapper Kid Cudi! Starring as Dustin Whitman, a suspect that Jake arrested before having the proper evidence, Cudi is the reason the episode is called ’48 Hours’ (also, is it just me, or is this another action movie titled episode?!). Because Jake didn’t do his job, the precinct has two days to find the proper evidence otherwise they have to release him and face disciplinary and legal repercussions. This is the first of many episodes where the squad will have to bunker down, primarily in the precinct, which allows a playground for their eccentricities to shine like Terry’s sleepytime workouts. Also, as someone who grew up in Texas and has been in a Wal-Mart, the observation about plus size t-shirts having racist overtones is hysterically honest. But between this A plot, a B plot focusing on Terry’s reticence to go home thanks to his overbearing brother-in-law Zeke, a C plot about a “Best Pie in New York” competition between Rosa and Gina, not to mention a heaping helping of Jake and Amy romantic sparks flying, the episode is a little weighed down by having so much going on. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! But Brooklyn Nine-Nine will gain the confidence to do more with less in later seasons.

107. DFW
Season 5, Episode 17

DFW has one of the best cold openings of the show, that perfectly highlights what makes Brooklyn Nine-Nine so good. A bait and switch joke, innocent humor contrasted beautifully by a real moment. And in this case, it just so happens to be a murderer beautifully singing Backstreet Boys. While the humor doesn’t especially land in this episode revolving around Jake meeting his distant half-sister played by Nasim Pedrad (it’s surprising that Boyle and Holt would think Terry’s muscles are just for vanity, especially considering how open he was regarding his food addiction.) I really appreciate the episodes where Jake recognizes his potentially toxic behavior and makes the effort to be better like he does when realizing he’s treating his sister the same way their father treated them. It sounds glib, but we need teachable moments like this. And as a fun bonus, It does introduce us to the Holt Soundboard! A device, much like the Sonic Screwdriver, that seems to always be around just when the squad needs it. Also, just so we’re clear: “The only thing I’m not good at is modesty because I’m great at it.” is a perfectly written joke.

106. Bureau
Season 3, Episode 22

With Brooklyn Nine-Nine being a send-up of police action-comedies, the show occasionally gets to dip its toes into the more intriguing, mystery side of the cop equation. With Bureau, while not being the strongest comedically, the plot twists and turns get effortlessly layered into season three’s overarching plot through Holt’s former partner Bob Anderson (Dennis Haysbert). But what’s the scene of the episode? Captain Raymond Holt waxing poetic about Sex and the City (thanks with help from Gina!) as a ploy to distract a security guard. It’s a perfect Holt joke playing off of his deadpan beautifully, where we aren’t necessarily sure he isn’t a Samantha.

105. The Slump
Season 1, Episode 3

If you’ve ever watched any cop show, then you know the basic format of an “I’m in a slump!” episode. The best cop in the precinct can’t seem to close any cases and they allow their anxiety and paranoia (re: lack of self-confidence) to cloud their judgment about their inherent talents until their mentor or partner has to reinspire them and then, like a deus ex machina, they magically close a case and escape the slump! In a classic Brooklyn Nine-Nine case, it is a set of scammers looking for their “lost grandmother” and it takes Holt assigning him busy work to get Jake out of his own head. The Nine-Nine is so important to Holt and seeing him guide the squad, even the ones that get under his skin, make a lot of these early season episodes. This episode is rounded out by Terry’s very relatable dad moment of the never-ending rage of putting together a Barbie Dream House (and Boyle’s oh so sweet solution), and a little cameo from SNL’s very own Pete Davidson!

104. The Audit
Season 4, Episode 13

Oh Teddy, played by the always affable Kyle Bornheimer. So boring. So psycho. And so in love with Pilsners and Jazz Brunches. His intense love knows no limit, it’s kind of hilarious, and super off-putting, but also relatively innocent, which pretty much is Brooklyn Nine-Nine in a nutshell! It’s unfortunate that one of the Teddy centric episodes is wedged into a middle of the road storyline revolving around the Nine-Nine, once again, being threatened with closure and being sent an auditor. But that actually feels rather on brand for Teddy. A perfectly fine episode that doesn’t really leave much of an impression.

103. Cinco de Mayo
Season 6, Episode 16

You know what I miss? When Brooklyn Nine-Nine was on the Fall line up, not the Winter one. Why? Because their holiday episodes were not just some of the best of the season, but some of the greatest sitcom episodes ever. The first Halloween Heist? Amy’s Thanksgiving Dinner? Boyle massacring a live turkey? Solid gold! Trying to wedge the holiday episodes into “non-Fall” holidays just falls flat. While season seven’s holiday episode is better at approaching the time change, Cinco de Mayo is just proof that while we gained so much from Nine-Nine moving to NBC, we did lose a tiny bit of the original seasons magic.

102. The Negotiation
Season 5, Episode 13

While the episode keeps its head above water by the charm and likeability of the Jake and Doug Judy (Craig Robinson) pairing, it’s hard not to feel like this episode majorly stretched to bring the band back together. After this many times of teaming with and subsequently letting go, Judy, we can only imagine the amount of Internal Affairs cases Jake has to have against him, right?! But all this said: Jake’s love for Judy’s mom is an absolute delight and I love that he gives Doug Judy the benefit of the doubt. Shouldn’t more cops?

101. Hostage Situation
Season 3, Episode 11

Kathryn. Fucking. Hahn. Y’all. She’s a force, and I love it, and I wish she was in an episode that wasn’t solely about Boyle’s semen. But at the heart of this episode is a very important point that all adoptive parents know: just because a child may not share your same DNA doesn’t make them any less your child. Being a father doesn’t come from genes, but from unadulterated love and compassion, two things that Boyle has in spades. I’d also be remiss not to mention that this episode does get a major bump in the rankings simply for its fantastic cold opening featuring a B-Boy battling Raymond Holt.

100. Two Turkeys
Season 5, Episode 7

Awww, the meeting of the Peraltas and the Santiago’s! A meeting that includes the likes of Jimmy Smits scat-singing while Bradley Whitfield tickles the piano ivories! The ebb and flow of the awkward humor is played beautifully. And while it feels a little rote after the two dads first back and forth, it’s the strength of the actors that make the episode a winner. The B Plot, wherein Holt is trying to find out who stole a pie, is a little milquetoast but his husband Kevin’s (Marc Evan Jackson) delivery of “Raymond! A drive with no purpose?” Is so honest and cute that it sticks in your memory.

99. The 9–8
Season 3, Episode 15

Damon Wayans Jr. is a treasure in everything he does, so while it’s a bummer to see him break bad when he teams up with his ex-partner Peralta, he does it with the same amount of panache and charm that made him so goddamn delightful on Happy Endings and New Girl. Also: on the shtick of Men-With-A-Capital-M singing along to pop songs, a contrasting of masculine behavior with socially perceived unmasculine behavior. It may be well worn but it still goes miles in helping break down destructive barriers men can place on ourselves and each other. We CAN sing loud and proud with Toni Braxton together because dammit we can’t UNCRY THESE TEEEEEEARS!

98. Gray Star Mutual
Season 5, Episode 18

Something you can always trust an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine to do, no matter where in the road it falls, is have a great memorable moment. And in Gray Star Mutual, we get way more than one moment. We have Amy taking down a perp in a wedding dress, Adrian Pimento’s bromance with Jake and Charles, Rosa helping Amy embrace her inner feminine, and the viral success of Cheddar getting 14,000 followers (and Holt’s subdued elation over it). These moments make the episode, even if the laughs aren’t as resounding as in the rest of season 5.

97. The Favor
Season 5, Episode 11

Oh Fredo, or in the words of Charles Boyle, Dianne Wiest’s brother in law in The Godfather. This A plot is goofy fun with the John Cazale proxy Kyle Murphy (Mike Mitchell), brother to Season Five baddie Seamus Murphy, inadvertently working with the Nine-Nine just because he shares a common appreciation for Bigfoot with Jake and Charles. Additionally, I think it’s so representatively important to have a storyline revolving around breast pumping, especially in a Must-See TV Thursday sitcom. It’s a drop in the ocean, but this is the type of progression we need to see more of in television.

96. The Jimmy Jab Games II
Season 7, Episode 4

Something that I loved in Season Seven are the callbacks to earlier episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. None of them were more overt though than this sequel episode to a Season Two classic. While most of the references were generally understated for the diehard fans to pick up on, unfortunately this dedicated callback just doesn’t really click for me. Maybe that’s the point though? Jake is trying to prove that he’s still as wild and crazy as he was when the last Jimmy Jab games were held. But Jake just isn’t the same person he was when the series began, and that’s a good thing for the character, but the “getting older” plot point just doesn’t totally click here. What clicks in this episode? Charles Boyle’s love of The Greatest Showman. Never change Boyle, never change!

95. The Suicide Squad
Season 6, Episode 18

Confession: I’ve never seen Suicide Squad. Luckily I don’t feel like I have to justify that to the Nine-Nine fans reading this list, nor does it really factor into what I think of this team of past precinct “villains”. Though, I will say the V-word doesn’t feel necessarily correct. While Madeline Wuntch (Kyra Sedgwick) and The Vulture (Dean Winters) are certifiable antagonists, can we really call Captain “C.J.” Jason Stentley (Ken Marino) a villain? If anything, he’s just another big ol’ dumbie like Scully and Hitchcock, but perhaps that’s the point that’s being made here? There’s gotta be something villainous going on for someone that incomptent to make it to the rank of Captain in the NYPD. That said, the episode finishes an uneven season out strong, even if it all feels a little over and done before it even starts. This isn’t the same type of long story arc that the show used to do in the earlier seasons. While Holt’s conflict with Commissioner Kelly is used as a plot device for some early season six episodes, this is an antagonistic relationship that has grown over the previous five seasons, so it doesn’t feel necessarily the same as the Melanie Hawkins saga of Season Four that bubbled over into Season Five. But just because it isn’t the same, doesn’t mean it is bad. Brooklyn Nine-Nine still has kinks to work out in this network move, but if the whole of season six is any indication: the show will be absolutely fine.

94. The Tattler
Season 6, Episode 3

In high school with Gina, Jake earned the nickname The Tattler after being blamed for getting the coolest kid in school in trouble, and at his 90s-themed school reunion he hopes to redeem his name by unmasking the real tattler. Meanwhile, Gina spends the reunion attempting to dupe everyone that she’s a major software mogul, until another “app developer” calls her bluff. The episode, while featuring some great moments of Amy at her nerdiest, mainly serves as the start of Chelsea Peretti’s transition from the show. While the episode’s humor leans more towards forgettable, it does allow for some fine emotional moments from Andy Samberg, showing that NBC would continue the slow but sure maturation of Jake Peralta.

93. Halloween
Season 1, Episode 6

What holds ‘Halloween’ back from being higher on this list is the fact that there are four other Halloween episodes to contend with. The Halloween episodes now, more than any other in the series, have been intentional, constantly building on each other. So while this primary episode is fantastic (and introduces us to Charles’ adoration for Mario Batali, which I hope gets mercilessly mocked or retconned in the future, thanks to Batali’s sexual misconduct allegations), it suffers from the Early Season Jitters of just not having characters as developed as they would be after a few years. But let this be a signpost: from here on out, every episode at one point could be considered “the best” episode. Time is relative. Taste is subjective. Enjoy the ride!

92. Game Night
Season 5, Episode 10

Sometimes Brooklyn Nine-Nine only skims the surface of an issue, and with Rosa coming out to her parents (including Danny Trejo!) it’s handled about as well as it can be without really holding antiquated marriage ideas completely to task. But rather than focusing on the parents’ regressive reaction, the show smartly embraces Rosa, even as her father comes back to express regret in how they reacted. We see shades of Rosa’s personality that we rarely see, most likely thanks to the comfort in living her truth. It also ends on a sweet note with Jake continuing the game night, no questions asked. Guys: let’s all aspire to be more like Jake. Especially in moments when your friends need you the most.

91. Captain Kim
Season 7, Episode 2

The main problem the squad has with respect to the rest of the precinct is that they are pretty insular. They don’t mean to be the in-crowd, but like any group of cool kids, it’s difficult for someone new to ingratiate into their ranks. This episode has a new Captain (Nicole Bilderback) once again trying to fill the Holt sized shoes left at the Nine-Nine with mixed results. On one hand, she’s an extremely capable and excellent leader. But on the other hand, how can they trust her when they’ve been burned by new Captains in the past? While I do appreciate the machismo Charles Boyle’s new leather jacket gives him, ultimately the episode is light on jokes, stemming from most of the episode’s antagonism coming from — rather than too — our clownish cops. Who wants to laugh when our leads are acting like jerks? Not many.

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