Every Episode Of ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ Ranked

130. Karen Peralta
Season 3, Episode 14

While the B and C plots are a little by the numbers, that’s to give room for a good “Jake Emotionally Grows” episode. Not to mention, when you have Katey Segal, you put her in as much of the episode as possible. The episode also illustrates, in an example of how attuned Brooklyn Nine-Nine is to its characters complex emotions that Jake’s father Roger (Bradley Whitford) is more like his son that we think. Why? Because they both show that they have the ability, and more importantly the determination, to change. All together now: we need more stories about men positively changing their bad behavior while still not being let off the hook!

129. New Captain
Season 3, Episode 1

Bill Hader is a great guest star in anything he does (especially considering his roasts on Andy Samberg when the show was first announced), but what his inclusion really illustrates is how much this show relies on the dynamic of Holt on the squad. The show is at its best when all of its pieces fit. That being said, Boyle proves another priceless reaction to Jake and Amy finally coupling and I honestly can’t believe Hader’s Dozerman just straight up DIES. It’s ballsy, and I love it.

128. Your Honor
Season 4, Episode 19

Sometimes Brooklyn Nine-Nine distracts you from a middle of the road story with a great guest star like L Scott Caldwell as Laverne Holt, The Captain’s mom. Robotic and precise, much like her son, Holts mom is a great person for Jake to pour his puppy dog affection on. But the choice doesn’t feel as inventive or unique as it could have been, like when Holts humorlessness was contrasted by his little sister’s boisterousness. But all of this feels like a pure distraction to focus on the A Plot while secretly there isn’t much happened in the B and C plots of the squad renovating the break room and Amy teaching Gina how to change a flat.

127. The Funeral
Season 3, Episode 2

Any episode with Dean Winters is a winner as the man can relish in the toxicity of his characters, mining it for hilarious physical comedy. But this episode also further establishes how Holt will continue to support the squad while away from the Nine-Nine when he is able to influence The Vulture by making him the new face of an NYPD publicity initiative. Otherwise, though, The Funeral is simply treading water, building tension for Holt’s return.

126. Captain Latvia
Season 4, Episode 10

While the search for Captain Latvia may be in part inspired by Retired California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s holiday film Jingle All The Way, Brooklyn Nine-Nine adds more comedy and heart in under 30m than the entire 90 of Arnies bad-dad flick. But while our hearts are warmed by Boyle’s adoptive son “Nicolaj” having his father as an action figure, I just can’t get over how out of place the choir competition is that the squad participates in. Sure, let Joel McKinnon Miller sing for an entire episode because he has the voice of an angel, but the conceit just feels loosely tethered to the general despisement of the MTA which doesn’t feel like a strong enough reason for Holt to cop to the squad’s schemes. But maybe in a New York where the Metro Transit Authority is worse than ever this episode will play better. Because I think all New Yorkers can confidently agree on one thing: the MTA sucks.

125. The Crime Scene
Season 6, Episode 6

In this episode, the show gives Jake a unique problem by making a potentially impossible promise to a woman: that he’ll catch her son’s murderer. He shouldn’t make the case personal, Rosa argues, but Jake recognizes his own mother in the woman and pulls out all the stops to catch the murderer. With a fun wrap-up to the mystery, and a solid guest star in Michael Mosley, the episode is unfortunately light on humor (despite Rosa’s ever evolving hairdo) and the emotional beats just don’t land the way the writers may have intended, giving us an episode we’re more than likely to forget.

124. Paranoia
Season 3, Episode 20

While this episode may be slightly lighter on laughs in its A plot, forwarding the momentum for the seasons Figgis arc, Rosa’s Bachelorette Party with Gina, Amy, and Charles balances it beautifully, especially in how thoughtful Charles is with what he plans for Rosa: free reign to demolish the interior of a house with sledgehammers. It just shows how much Boyle really understands his friend’s inherent likes and dislikes, while also extinguishing any lingering awkwardness of his previous unrelenting pursuit of her.

123. The Ebony Falcon
Season 1, Episode 14

While Terry getting reacclimated into the field is a major early arc for Jeffords, what dates this episode is Rosa and Amy’s treatment of Gina after she’s the victim of a robbery. While the duo thinks Gina can handle it thanks to her oddball antics, they absolutely dismiss her. While this is at the heart of the stories moral message, it’s one that holds less water as the series continued. Amy and Rosa would never treat anyone on the squad like that in later episodes. But this is Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s M.O.: adapt, change, grow.

122. Ava
Season 3, Episode 8

We don’t get nearly enough of Terry’s wife Sharon (Merrin Dungey) in Brooklyn Nine-Nine but every appearance she has is always highlighted by her impeccable comic timing and radiant smile. We love her honest relationship with Terry, how much she distrusts Holt, and most importantly we love how much Jake loves them both! So Jake going above and beyond to be there for Sharon when she unexpectedly goes into labor at the precinct is an utterly selfless proof of Jakes good nature and why we’re so touched when they ask Jake to be The Godfather. This show is heartwarming AF and it’s why we love it. This is all on top of a fun appearance by Nick Offerman as Holts old flame, still disgruntled for Raymond tossing a prized wooden duck over a bridge. Classic, pure Nine-Nine hijinks. As an added bonus: this episode features one of my favorite Brooklyn Nine-Nine cold open involving Charles Boyle, a Turkey Costume, and some majorly bad news.

121. USPIS
Season 2, Episode 8

While the B plot does introduce us to Amys one major vice, her penchant for the occasional cigarette, this episode is devoted to continuing the Giggle Pig arc with guest star Ed Helms. As the head of a USPS (pronounced Us-pis) task force charged with taking down a Giggle Pig operation, Helms must team up with Jake and Boyle. It’s a peak Helmsian character, cowardly and self-righteous, but ultimately affable. But it’s his characters name that clinches the episode: Jack Danger. And while the name is as cool as Jake imagines, he’s ultimately crestfallen to discover is pronounced Dong-Er. Classic Nine-Nine play on words!

120. The Apartment
Season 1, Episode 18

While not exactly a storyline that they’ve really ever dug into, I’ve always appreciated how Jake and Gina have backstories that include growing up together. With Chelsea Peretti’s inevitable exeunt from the squad, gradually beginning after the birth of Enigma (or Iggy for short), it’s a bummer that they won’t explore this relationship more. BUT we do get a handful of episodes focusing on it, like ‘The Apartment’, where we all realize we’ve been taking Gina’s responsibility for granted. Gina has got her life on LOCK!

119. The Puzzle Master
Season 5, Episode 15

I’m just gonna be frank: there should be absolutely nothing holding back all of my fellow humans from wearing the Tank-Top-Under-The-Jacket look like the smoldering Master Puzzler Melvin Stemley (played by Melissa Fumero’s real-life husband David Fumero) does in this episode. It’s not just for Ryan Gosling any more fellas, we too can embrace it! And to all my men-presenting dudes out there: We don’t have many ways to diversify our wardrobes! Like a cigarette ad in the 1950’s: tank top/jacket combos make us look cool. BUT I DIGRESS! Much like the show has fun naming it’s wacky serial killers, here they give us a super fun conceit to a Serial Arsonist who leaves clues to his next fire in the Saturday Crossword Puzzles. And maybe it’s just my love of the podcast Ask Me Another, but the word puzzles included in this episode are so incredibly fun. Also: you’ll never forget what the United Arab Emirates looks like scrambled!

118. The Mole
Season 2, Episode 5

Look, we don’t really need to be reminded of the ineptitude of the police right now. We know it, and the optics aren’t great for those in blue. Which is why it’s a blessing (and a bit of a curse, which we’ll get to later) that Brooklyn Nine-Nine typically steers clear of major conflicts. So when we discover that Jake is trying to bypass due process after he illegally (albeit accidentally) took files home to work on, possibly being the titular Mole, it doesn’t exactly sit right. But the mole turns out to just be a ruse by Holts archrival Chief Madeline Wuntch (Kyra Sedgwick), leaving open for the episodes true reveal: that Jake discovers Boyle and Gina are sleeping together. Also, this kicks off the Giggle Pig investigatory arc!

117. House Mouses
Season 3, Episode 16

A rare Hitchcock and Scully episode, something we can always use more of in Brooklyn Nine-Nine! The duo has always been a bizarre anomaly in the show, man some of the series best odd, if not a little outdated and borderline distasteful humor. Perhaps a great way to describe them is Nicecore Offensive. Their out-of-touch-ness only made indelible by their utter inanity. And nothing is more innocently representative of this than Hitchcock moseying on up to a group of drug dealers and announcing himself as a member of the Dallas Buyers Club. A perfect example of why social context is relevant to understanding comedy, and why Scully and Hitchcock are gems of the ensemble.

116. Terry Kitties
Season 3, Episode 19

Adrian Pimento’s PTSD is probably the closest this cop-com gets to anti-comedy, but as he does, Jason Mantzoukas sells it so well that, despite utterly fearing someone like Pimento in real life, we can’t help but instantly see beneath the veneer to an incredibly sweet guy. Meanwhile, Jake is helping Terry breakthrough an early career fumble that has fueled Terry’s hatred of the most adorable damn kittens you’ve ever seen. Terry’s gets to put the past behind him in a positive way, while Jake gets to release a box of rats like he’s nouveau Willard!

115. Return of the King
Season 6, Episode 15

While the subplot about Holt believing that Charles’ son Nikolaj is a genius allows for some light comedy of errors, this episode is geared primarily at the return of Gina.The only problem? This episode should really have come in the seventh season, not so quickly after Chelsea Peretti left. We barely get to miss Gina before she’s already back. Is her struggle with a work/life balance as a motivational speaker and enigmatic cultural persona rife for humor and drama? Absolutely. But can a king return when it feels like they never left? Not really.

114. Dillman
Season 7, Episode 9

Sure, you may know J.K. Simmons best from his villainous performances in Oz or Whiplash, but for a teen in the early 00s, the man just is J. Jonah Jameson, the comedic thorn in the side of Sam Raimi’s take on Spider Man. So we know this guy can make us laugh. But that’s why I find it disappointing that his cameo here as the greatest detective Captain Holt has worked with leans more on his darker roles than that of his lighter ones. Like Holt he’s steely, calculated, and cold, but for a whodunnit centered around a glitter bomb, I was left wishing they’d have gone in a different direction. A zanier character for Simmons could have been a shot of energy into an otherwise tepid episode.

113. Captain Peralta
Season 2, Episode 18

Two things make Captain Peralta a winner. First: Bradley Whitford is, and will always be a gem. He’s perfect for Jakes sleazy deadbeat dad, and this episode helps shine a light on why he is the way he is, while also allowing us to empathize and root for their relationship to start healing. The hole his father’s absence left is a major part of why Jake became a cop (which is alluded to in a later episode with Jake’s mother), and being able to see him confront this with emotional maturity is refreshing and welcome. But secondly: who doesn’t want to hear Holt gab about Beyoncé?

112. Chocolate Milk
Season 2, Episode 2

Aside from the Gross-When-You-Think-About-It episode title, ‘Chocolate Milk’ does what few shows do: tackle the topic of younger vasectomies. Sharon doesn’t want another child while the jury is still out for Terry, leading him to go back and forth on getting a vasectomy while Jake tags along for moral support. The episodes importance is in showing Terry’s trepidation for the procedure, and in a way it help normalizes something more adult men should consider for later-in-life family planning. This episode is colored with the shows future progressivism by helping its male characters dispel toxic myths.

111. 99
Season 5, Episode 9

The episodes importance is cemented by the discovery that Rosa is bisexual, and the show handles it with such honest awkwardness that it feels like an utterly revelatory moment of bringing normativity to this very normal thing. Rosa is a strong representation of sexuality that can be misrepresented often. Her quiet admission, Boyle’s honest reaction of supportive surprise, it all felt very earnest and real. As an added bonus the show gives Jake the ultimate Die Hard fans dream: to visit Nakatomi Tower! His unbridled enthusiasm for what he loves (including hyper-specific Die Hard references) is a beautiful contrast to the macho cop persona the series delights in lampooning.

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