Every Episode of ’30 Rock’ Ranked

104. The Ones (Season 3, Episode 19)
Dir. Beth McCarthy
Writer: Jack Burditt

Sometimes I forget that Jack’s relationships only ever lasted a handful of episodes. Emily Mortimer was only in three episodes, Edie Falco four, and Julianne Moore six episodes. Outside of Elizabeth Banks with fifteen appearances, Salma Hayek was in the show the most. Which makes her quick exit a little odd given the maturity the relationship grew into, but none of that matters when the punchline is as good as it is. The reason they break up? Because Jack is afraid of Elisa murdering him in a crime of passion if he ever cheated on her, like she did her first husband. Classic, absurd 30 Rock. Ever the sociopath, the B Plot of this episode is a simply strung together series of Jenna trying to kill Kenneth just for the opportunity to bump into a hot paramedic.

103. Christmas Special (Season 3, Episode 6)
Dir. Don Scardino
Writer: Kay Cannon/Tina Fey

I love Christmas Specials, for any show, ever. It’s one of the best things about the holiday seasons! And while this episode may be closer to the bottom of the best holiday episodes of 30 Rock it still has some stellar moments, including the amount of Jazz Christmas songs (especially whatever scat version of Jingle Bells Jenna is working on), but mostly the warm amends between Colleen and Jack resulting in a sweet duet of “The Christmas Song” between the two. Though quick reminder: don’t be like Liz and accidentally tell two children that there is no Santa. Smooth move, ferguson.

102. Floyd (Season 4, Episode 16)
Dir. Millicent Shelton
Writer: Paula Pell

Let’s just be real: Liz didn’t deserve Floyd. Homie beat addiction, was on a clearly stable path, and even stayed on that stable path post their relationship despite Liz not only pretending to be an alcoholic to listen in to his recovery stories in an AA meeting (Don’t forget the other A is supposed to stand for Anonymous) but also kinda/sorta getting Floyd drunk when he is back in town to wed his new girlfriend Kaitlin on The Today Show. But also Floyd didn’t really deserve Liz, not consulting with her and their relationship before taking a job and fleeing to the Cleve’. Either way, don’t forget my fellow Recovery folks: alcohol won’t cook off in food if it’s served in sauce on the side! And while the B plot of The Pranksmen pranking Danny/Jack and the C Plot of Jenna/Tracy having erotic nightmares about Kenneth are funny, it’s Jenna and Tracy’s plan to “Elm Street” their situation by going to sleep and killing Kenneth in their dreams which solidifies the episode as a fun re-watch.

101. Nothing Left to Lose (Season 6, Episode 16)
Dir. John Riggi
Writer: Lauren Gurganous/Nina Pedrad

What does a swastika made out of dicks look like? Well, we may never know but we do discover that hiding beneath Pets Hornberger’s ring of receding hair lies a birthmark that looks remarkably like one. This, of course, a result of Jack attempting to build Pete’s confidence to procrastinate filling out a self-evaluation. The rest of the episode is dedicated to jumping through hoops of Jenna logic as she finds vindication after being pranked by The Pranksmen while Liz becomes a father figure for Tracy after he gets his sense of smell back. Lemme put it this way: any episode to feature Dr. Spaceman (Chris Parnell) is a good episode.

100. Black Light Attack! (Season 4, Episode 10)
Dir. Don Scardino
Writer: Steve Hely

Why do I like Danny so much? Because future Ryan Murphy stalwart Cheyenne Jackson is just so damn likeable (and probably also because he was in the Broadway production of the ultimate B movie disco musical Xanadu). Here we have another rare Danny episode with Jack searching for a male companion out of the TGS cast that he can do stereotypical manly things with, like going to Knicks and Rangers games and talking about ladies! But what kills Jack’s bro-ner for Danny? When he finds out his main squeeze is none other than Elizabeth Lemon. Elsewhere in this episode we get perhaps the greatest scream from Jenna after she realizes she is going in to read for a mom on Gossip Girl plus! We get a whole lotta Sue, TGS’ resident Dutch Psychic Detective, as she becomes part of Tracy’s entourage.

99. Standards and Practices (Season 6, Episode 10)
Dir. Beth McCarthy-Miller
Writer: Vali Chandrasekaran

I love the running joke that is America’s Kidz Got Singing, including their judges featuring “Queen of Jordans” D’fwan (Titus Burgess), John McEnroe, and of course Jenna Maroney and her catch phrase “go jump back up your mother!”. But her attempts to humanize herself by crying on the show are dashed when two of child contestants show up drunk, thanks to Jack’s nemesis Kaylee (Chloe Grace Moretz) attempting to tank its ratings in a bid to knock Jack out of contention for Kabletown’s next CEO. The complex, for 30 Rock, episode even has a relatively happy ending with Jack tricking Kaylie, Kenneth’s successful live bleeping of an uninhibited Tracey, and Jenna’s slight humanization by the product of an egg donation.

98. The Moms (Season 4, Episode 20)
Dir. John Riggi
Writer: Kay Cannon/Robert Carlock

There’s so much to love in this Mother’s Day episode of 30 Rock. Is it the fact that Liz Lemon’s dad could have been Buzz Aldrin, featuring a cameo by the astronaut himself which devolves into a scene with LIz and Buzz cursing the moon? Is it the return of Will Ferrell as the hilariously offensive Shane Hunter in Bitch Hunter? Perhaps it’s the final tableau of mothers singing a chorus of “Don’t Go To Bed With A Frown”, including Verna, Colleen, and Frank’s mom Sylvia (Patti Lupwning everything she does. Get it? Lupone? Pwning? Y’all, there’s less than 100 more of these so strap yourself in because next stop is Punning Time Station!) Who knows, but 30 Rock knows how to pull off a non-seasonal holiday episode.

97. Flu Shot (Season 3, Episode 8)
Dir. Don Scardino
Writer: Jon Pollack

Another middle of the road 30 Rock that doesn’t necessarily have anything outwardly memorable (of course with the exception of the Michael Buble tune “Mr. Templeton” written exclusively for the episode), but is just basically enjoyable. Jack and Elisa (Salma Hayek) have to sneak around with Elisa’s elderly ward while Liz tries to dodge the spreading flu that’s infecting much of TGS. But Robert Canning of IGN was right in his original appraisal: I don’t buy that a tropical getaway is the kind of vacation Liz would take. Perhaps sunning and grilling in New Rochelle with the Barefoot Contessa? Duh! But sand, sweat, and shirtless American bodies? Doesn’t sound like the Liz “Night Cheese” Lemon we know and love.

96. The Break-Up (Season 1, Episode 8)
Dir. Scott Ellis
Writer: Brett Baer, Dave Finkel

Is Dennis Duffy my favorite of Liz Lemon’s ex-boyfriends? Undoubtedly yes (and only because she ends up with Criss Chros). Is he the best ex for Liz though? Of course not! Dennis Duffy is a walking misdemeanor waiting to happen with a shocking lack of self-awareness all held together by the reliably skeezy Dean Winters. And the episode reflects our flip-flopping feelings on Dennis until the walking internet meme Chris Hansen shows up. I dunno what it was about the show, but we sure loved Dateline’s To Catch a Predator in the mid-00s! The episode also clumsily attempts to discuss the usage of a racial slur between Toofer to Tracy, but perhaps it would have been better handled by two writers of color rather than fizzling out the way it does at the end of this episode without a concise conclusion. But hey, that’s just 30 Rock for ya! As a special bonus, we do get the aces subplot of Jack dating Condoleezza Rice (which will pay off in spades in season five’s Everything Sunny All The Time Always).

95. Aunt Phatso vs. Jack Donaghy (Season 7, Episode 6)
Dir. Don Scardino
Writer: Luke Del Tredici

I dunno, between you and me, and maybe this is because I was the target age in the 90s for Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence’s spate of heavily made up comedies, but I always enjoyed Tracy Jordan’s inane filmography, but none ever took such a center stage as did his Aunt Phatso sequel. This time Tracy has written Jack into his film and to show it’s not defamation he proves Jack has done everything in the film including closing down an orphanage. This is all sparked because Tracy doesn’t feel respected by Jack, which he acts on in one of 30 Rock‘s greatest moments: Tracy Jordan donating to the New York Philharmonic for a 4 hour symphonic rendition of the Sanford and Sons theme song. While this is technically the B Plot, I never gelled with the sociopathic arc of Hazel who spends most of this episode tricking Liz so that she can get onto TGS.

94. Do-Over (Season 3, Episode 1)
Dir. Don Scardino
Writer: Tina Fey

Each season premiere of 30 Rock is always a mixed bag. Here we have the conclusion to the prolonged Amadeus joke from season 2 involving Tracys porno videogame “Goregasm: The Legend of Dong Slayer”, Jack fighting for his job back, the awkward sexuality of Kathy Geiss, and Liz’s pursuit of adopting a baby. But I’ll relish in any opportunity that Megan Mullally is on screen, here as Bev evaluating Liz’s worklife. Luckily for Liz she gets the titular “Do-Over” as Bev sustains a head injury resulting in her forgetting Liz’s disastrous evaluation.

93. Up All Night (Season 1, Episode 13)
Dir. Michael Engler
Writer: Tina Fey

Have you ever wanted to hear Isabella Rossellini wax poetic about an Arby’s Big Beef and Cheddar? Have you ever wondered what a game of “Fuck Marry Kill” would be called on broadcast TV? Have you ever thought “I wonder where Cerie stands on the Cyprus Dispute”? Well, all these questions and more are answered on this episode of 30 Rock, including one of the best jokes at the expense of theatre in the series: Vagina Day, “a charity event founded by a group of celebrities who have for whatever reason never been asked to participate in The Vagina Monologues.” But this episode is mostly important for introducing law stylist Floyd DeBarber, who’s flowers were accidentally sent to Liz Lemon when they were meant for his girlfriend Liz Lemler (Anna Chlumsky)

92. What Will Happen to the Gang Next Year? (Season 6, Episode 22)
Dir. Michael Engler
Writer: Matt Hubbard

Look, we all knew that once Avery Jessup finally came back from North Korea, it was just a ticking clock until her and Jack’s relationship would come to an end. Between Jacks indiscretion with Avery’s mom and Avery’s covert communication with Scott Scottsman, it comes to a cordial head at what was meant to be vows renewal which turns into a divorce party. The episode does have a guest appearance by Dr. Cornel West, who Tracy confuses for Questlove, which leads to Tracy starting his Tyler Perry-esque production company, which will produce the Octavia Spencer-led Harriet Tubman biopic. Also, and this will be the first of many times I say this during his arc, James Marsden is too good for this world, and Criss Chros is a perfect character.

91. Subway Hero (Season 2, Episode 12)
Dir. Don Scardino
Writer: Jack Burditt/Robert Carlock

Oh Dennis Duffy! I can’t stand on the 47th – 50th St/Rockefeller Center subway platform now without thinking of that moment when you tried to throw Liz Lemon into an uptown D train just to add time on to your 15 minutes of fame which you achieved by saving someone in a subway. I don’t know though, opportunistic and rudely optimistic Dennis sounds exactly like the local hero New Yorkers deserve. Because dammit, we’re opportunistic and rudely optimistic too! As Jack Donaghy says, he’s the bravest New Yorker since Bernie Goetz after all.

90. Kidney Now! (Season 3, Episode 22)
Dir. Don Scardino
Writer: Jack Burditt, Robert Carlock

30 Rock had some pretty high profile celebrity cameos. From Condoleezza Rice to James Carville, Jon Bon Jovi and most of the news team from late 00’s NBC no episode had more cameos than in Kidney Now!. Featuring a “We Are The World” style supergroup raising money for Jack’s biological father to get a kidney, the singers comprised of everyone from Elvis Costello, Mary J. Blige, Sheryl Crow, Adam Levine, Wyclef Jean, Clay Aiken, Sara Bareilles, Norah Jones, Michael McDonald, and the list goes on. Not to mention that the song featuring a chorus of “Milton Greens” is, like most music on the show, a surprising earworm. Additionally this episode also lays the groundwork for the Dealbreakers arc later in the series!

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