There are a lot of bad eggs in Westeros. These fifty are the best of the worst.
Separating baddies from goodies in Game of Thrones is, like most things, a matter of whose flag you fly. There are plenty of pretenders to the Iron Throne to root for, and pretty much all of them have done terrible things. Even the most protagonist-y of the bunch have some modicum of blood under their nails. Lest we forget: Jon, Daenerys, and Theon have all killed children at one point or another. And yet we stump (no offense, Jamie). Speaking of Jamie: there’s also no shortage of pivoting heels now enjoying full-blown redemption arcs. All to say: War is full of messy bitches. Ethical gray areas just come with the territory.
However, lest we continue to wallow in the moral ambiguity swamp: it needs must be remarked that Game of Thrones has some of the best big bads in the small screen business. Evil-doers with their flags firmly planted in the villainy camp.
In order to separate the Reek from the chaff and rank these malefactors, I did the evilest thing of all and made a spreadsheet do it for me. I came up with five factors that make a perfect villain, scored each factor on a five-point “what makes a good villain” rubric, then leaned back, rubbing my hands together while automated maths wrought their dark magic. In the event of a tie, a kill count was consulted.
Factors for villainy included notoriety, aka the reach of one’s reputation for eeeeeevil. You could be bad to the bone but if no one’s heard of you, sorry, you’re going to lose points. Next up is panache aka The “Look.” Think of these as style points; good villains have good branding. Their status as a worthy adversary was also up for consideration; the degree to which their physical and/or mental prowess could be considered a veritable threat. A good villain’s evilness has to be understandable to the audience. We need to be able to look at what twisted them and go “oh god, in similar circumstances that could have been me.” Great villains are great because we understand where they’re coming from. They see themselves as the hero of their own story and are convinced that what they’re doing is right. Finally, there’s the elusive “fun factor.” When a villain fucks you simultaneously dread and anticipate their screentime. No matter how many dicks they chop off.
And so, eviscerated appendages and all: here are the top 55 Game of Thrones villains, so far, ranked for your pleasure.
Daenerys most trusted handmaiden.
Being permanently sealed inside Xaro’s empty treasure vault
First mate of the Sea Bitch; skilled ironborn raider and reaver
Betrayed and flayed alive by Ramsay
Career criminal and rapist forced to join the Night Watch
Mauled by Ghost
Knight of the Kingsguard who does not think twice about carrying out Joffrey’s ridiculous orders.
Throat slit by Arya
Man-at-arms in service of House Lannister
Stabbed to death by Arya in Season 4
The former commander of the King’s Landing City Watch forced to join the Night’s Watch
Beheaded by Longclaw
Member of the ruling council of Qarth
Being permanently sealed in his empty treasure vault
Knight in service of House Lannister
Killed by Jaqen H’ghar with a poisoned dart at the behest of Arya.
One of Walder Frey’s shittier sons
Baked into a pie
A bastard son of Walder Frey, a.k.a. Black Walder
Baked into a pie